I’m Still Single But That’s OK With Me

SOULMATES

We invest time in the smartest career move, coolest hairstyle, indulgent recipes, fitted denim jeans and blendable makeup foundations. Trial and error alarms us in what’s best for our well-being. Mistakes help us learn more about the things we really need in our life by guiding us to make better decisions. Deciding on a supreme choice requires an ultimate amount of patience and wisdom, which is why I haven’t had a boyfriend for nearly ten years. I know that’s a long time but let me explain why…

JustNatonya Dating Lifestyle and Being Single

Do you believe in soulmates? I believe everyone has the chance for true love with a special person meant for each human in the world. Your significant other exists and you don’t need to settle for less than what you deserve. The idea is you need to wait for him or her to cross your path.

Past Happened for a Reason

I’ve dated guys who were just not right for me and my internal environment. I’m not about bashing people but I experienced guys cheating on me, lying straight to my face and breaking up with me because I won’t compromise my moral values.

No more Natonya, you deserve better. Stop settling for less and wait for the best.

After those disastrous relationships, I learned what is the point of dating bad guys while I wait for MY perfect man? I’m a good person who deserves a good person.  I rebuilt my confidence and decided to not let those negative experiences change my love walk or place a shadow on my heart. I chose to wait for the best and nothing less.

The Wait

As I’m waiting for God to send me my husband, I learned how to filter out those who are not ‘the one’. I don’t say ‘yes’ to every man’s advances, meaning those who ask for a date or my phone number. Yes this method has made me super picky but it’s this decisive attitude that has caused me to avoid unnecessary heartbreak and difficulty of trying to force something to happen with a person that’s not truly my match.

JustNatonya Still Single But I'm Still Happy
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Not going to lie, three years ago I thought to lower my standards because I wasn’t meeting my type. I wondered if my expectations were too high or even if what I liked existed? Until two years ago, I discovered my celebrity crush Brock O’Hurn who is exactly everything I dream of in a man.

I’m mentally attracted to men who love to love, driven by creativity, fearlessly romantic, aspire for change, unselfish and use their platform to make a difference in the world, even if it’s something simple as sharing positive messages on Instagram. Brock is always excited to live his best life now and he is not afraid to celebrate the little things. Not to mention, he is 6’7 with long hair and a bright smile, which is physically attractive to me too.

Good guys do exist and so does my type.

Discovering Brock made me realize that my type does exist and even though I haven’t met the one for me in my city, doesn’t mean I won’t ever meet him.I don’t have to lower my standards or force myself in a relationship. So I’m sticking to my dating strategy with a stronger amount of faith attached.

JustNatonya Dating Lifestyle: I'm Single and Happy

In the end, declaring the best for me has taught me how to appreciate myself by becoming more self-aware and accepting. You need to put yourself first and do what’s best for you. Never lower your standards for anyone because you deserve what you want and you deserve nothing but the best.

What do you think about today’s idea of dating? Do you have specific expectations or guidelines for yourself?

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43 Comments Add yours

  1. annaelleliz says:

    I am in love with this article! I too believe everyone has a special person, and I’d rather wait than get trampled on with crappy guys! P.S Brock O’Hurn is my type too! Good taste girl 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      I’m so happy you get my point in this article👏🏾. I’m done with less than best, never will I settle again🚫🙅🏾‍♀️. Brock O’Hurn is so bae😍😂💕👌🏾

      Like

  2. Tara says:

    Love this post! 💕. I’m a bit of a hopeless romantic, i love the kind of love from like pride and prejudice and i believe that the love of our lives are out there somewhere. I agree that you should never lower your standards. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      So happy you believe in love too! Thank you for reading Tara❤️

      Like

  3. Hiro says:

    I really like what some people have said: You should become your own soulmate and one true love. Only you can give yourself the satisfaction and amazing life that you deserve, and you should be your own sugar momma. I think it’s amazing that in these times where everywhere everything tells us to couple up that you are standing firm. If my boyfriend didn’t court me extremely aggressively, I was going to stay single for at least a year if not more, just to become comfortable with myself and learn more about myself. You get to learn so much more about yourself, grow, and brush up on you when you’re single, and I think it’s great! Keep trucking! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Exactly Hiro, singlehood is the best opportunity to grow into your best self. You can’t expect someone to take care of you when you’re not taking care of you. I believe when you’re whole and brought with your significant other in the right way and her/she is whole, everything will work out in the best way possible. Thanks for commenting and reading 🙂

      Like

  4. Jenny says:

    This is such a great post! I like to thing that everything will fall into place when it’s supposed to! ☺️

    Jenny • http://www.sparkleandstyleblogger.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      I agree Jenny, everything will fall into place especially if you’re not forcing it to fit. 😁

      Liked by 1 person

  5. YES YES YES! We definitely shouldn’t feel like we need to lower our standards – especially if you know exactly what you want. It’ll happen when it happens so just focus on yourself until it does 🙂 x

    https://www.femaleoriginal.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Exactly, we shouldn’t lower our standards. Yea we have to set boundaries for ourselves and not be afraid to stick to them no matter how long it takes to see the end result 🙂

      Like

  6. pinarrawlins says:

    Self love is the best love and you can’t truly love someone else until you love yourself. The right man will suddenly appear when you least expect it and he will be the one that will be lucky he found you xo

    Pinar | http://www.beautybakingbella.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Pinar well said! Thank you for leaving that simple but pure piece of wisdom. You’re absolutely right 💯❤️👏🏾

      Like

  7. Teri says:

    Brock! Yes I follow him on IG. I think he’s a lot of our types. 👀😍 Lol !!! I kid. More seriously, this topic is very important. My history of dating is like….cycling through a lot of short term people who I don’t want for whatever reason, and then longer months relationship that you realize this person sucks lol, I have met some nice and good guys too, but it seems like a blur because I switched so much waiting for the ONE. Doing exactly what you are doung. Finally I found a really nice bf of 2 yrs now who I love dearly. I’m not gonna say he’s the ONE because I don’t think it’s a ONE. I think you just find someone who matches your mentallity, similar hobbies, your attractiveness standard, and who can take care of himsel finacially. After that it’s about respecting each other, support, and making each other happy. Hard work is what it is. You pick somone you think is a good candidate and just go for it! So it’s probably more like one thousand/ one million you could match with but choose one and go! Until you find that guy ur willing to put that work into…just keep moving…single is fun anyway and no time to waste for those not worthy. So I’m with you. Keep developing yourself being single. Keep saying no until its a yes!

    I wrote a similar post about this. Let me know what you think?
    “Dating 101: Finding Our Prince while Kissing the least possible amount of Frogs“
    http://millennialadulting.life/2017/09/24/dating-101-finding-your-prince-while-kissing-the-least-possible-frogs/

    Teri – http://millennialadulting.life

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Hey Teri! I’m happy you understand where I’m coming from in this post. You’re right bring single is the time to develop yourself ❤️. Thanks for the comment, checking out your post too so I can learn more about your perspective.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Aaliyah Hunt says:

    I truly believe that there is someone out there for everyone! You will definitely find your dream man one day, don’t worry about that! Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Thanks Aaliyah! Yes everyone has their special person you just gotta be patient and wait for him/her to arrive ❤️ Appreciate you stopping by 😁

      Like

  9. Chloe Chats says:

    Great post and you’re so right! You shouldn’t need to lower your standards at all, you deserve everything you dream of. You shouldn’t have to put yourself through pain and heartbreak just because society makes you feel like you should. Finding someone can take time and you shouldn’t rush it, and if you so happen to come across someone who ticks every box then that’s the one you go for if you want, of course. Thank you for sharing, loved this post 🙂

    Chloe xx
    http://www.chloechats.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Thanks Chloe! I’m so happy this post makes sense to you too. Yeah we gotta stop living under society’s pressures and be fearless in doing our own thing, even if it doesn’t make sense to others. Glad you stopped by ❤️

      Like

  10. MelaninTalks says:

    This post has basically resonates my current thought process and it’s crazy haha. I’m tired of saying yes to advances and started focusing on myself, till God also brings forward my guy! Lovely post!! x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Yes sis I’m with you on this journey too. Yeah skip those unnecessary dudes and just wait for the perfect one to arrive. He will let you know when he’s here too ❤️ Glad you liked the post!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Bexa says:

    Yes girl!! I needed to read this post today so thank you so much for sharing. You are such an inspiration and I love your attitude. You are such a lovely person, I am sure the perfect man will come into your life exactly when you are ready. Being recently single myself, I have decided to take some time out and just enjoy the single life. It’s so refreshing to read such an open and honest post and to know that others are in a similar situation as I am. Another brilliant post Natonya ❤ xx

    Bexa | http://www.hellobexa.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Thanks Bexa! I’m so happy this post put you in good spirits. Yes, enjoy your new single life because this is the time to be slightly selfish and be put yourself first. Decide on what you need and what’s best for your life. I’m glad this post was timely for you too ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Kudakwaishe says:

    Hello Natonya! As always, it’s another inspiring read from you.
    I’m just seventeen, and obviously single which is quite rare in this age and time. Most people have a misconception that being a teenager you should just fall in love because as they say YOU ARE ONLY A TEEN ONCE.
    Like you said in your post, I am waiting for the right one. Being just seventeen this is crazy, but I have found it unproductive to just fall in love, and have learnt to put God first. Thanks for the wonderful read.

    Kudakwaishe

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Kudakwaishe comments like yours keep me wanting to keep writing more uplifting posts. Glad you enjoyed this post. So true people do make it sound like you’re supposed to have found the one at a young age because your teenage years are for exploring. But you don’t have to fall in love at a young age because you have your whole life ahead of you to learn more about yourself. Like Pinar said in her comment, the perfect one will come when you least expect it but you gotta love yourself first before someone else can love you. So you’re doing right, just wait on God and let Him lead your way. Thanks for reading sis ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Kudakwaishe says:

        That’s for the lovely guide and building a lovely community of inspiring people on your blog. Surely I have a lot to learn from the likes of you. Xoxo

        Liked by 1 person

        1. justnatonya says:

          Kudakwaishe you’re so sweet! I’m glad you’re part of the community 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  13. lifeofshar says:

    This was so interesting to read! I think the way society is now, people feel so pressured into having relationships and being in love that it does make people lower their standards when they are worth so much more, so I love your opinion on this! I believe that things will happen when they are supposed to happen! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Yeah those pressures make you feel like you must live life fast but when you think about it, who are rushing for? We should live life at our own speed and take our time to get where we need to be, regardless of the world’s time schedule. Thanks for reading Shar!

      Like

  14. Your man will come doll. Everything you’re looking for will come to you. Believe it because I do! I’m glad your confidence boosted and you have self love. I think that’s a hard thing for a lot of women, to be able to love themselves. I truly believe you won’t find love unless you love yourself first ❤ Keep doing your thing!

    xx, Des | https://www.itsbetterinheels.com/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Speak the truth Des! You’re so right, you have to love you before you expect someone else to love you too.

      Like

  15. I can not tell you how much I love this post. i’ve had one boyfriend my whole life and it lasted about 3 weeks. he dumped me because I didn’t like one of his favorite bands. and then I wouldn’t take him back when he begged me to ten minutes later. I knew in that moment that someone who couldn’t accept what I liked or didn’t like was not someone I was going to waste my time on. Maybe that sounds harsh but it’s true. I then made the decision of not dating anyone until I was able to love myself. still at 24 that hasn’t fully happened but I need to make sure I can depend on myself to make me feel worthy rather than someone else. I’ve been there with a friendship and it doesn’t end well. sorry for the long winded comment but i just really loved this post. xx

    mich / simplymich.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Michelle I like long comments, it really extends the topic into new territory. I’m glad you have your power back and you’re not playing games with immature men anymore. I’m glad you’re not dating until you love yourself because self-worth makes a huge difference in relationships with others. So happy you liked this post!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. yvonnewabai says:

    Society tells us that we need to have found love and ‘settled down’ a certain age, and had kids by a certain age. People rush into relationships because of this pressure. People also get into relationships because they’re afraid of being alone. All of this leads to people being in the wrong relationships and being miserable.

    Yvonne Wabai | https://yvonnewairimuwabai.weebly.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      True Yvonne. Society has the idea of immediacy to get things done so soon but really why are we rushing? What is life, if we’re not enjoying it because we’re too busy hurrying through it. Liked your comment❤️

      Like

  17. Radi says:

    Omg this is as if you’re writing my story… still waiting for my prince! LOL!
    I hope you meet your soulmate for the holidays.

    http://www.fashionradi.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Thanks Radi that’s really sweet of you! I’m glad this post spoke to you, I want all my posts to speak to the soul. Glad you like, happy holidays to you ❤️

      Like

  18. YASSSSSS GIRL 💕💕💕
    I love this post so much, you’re such a powerful and inspiring woman, and you should be so proud of yourself for knowing your worth. You are worth not settling. It’s amazing that you are self aware enough to know this.
    xoxo
    victoria
    PS. Love Brock!!! Good choice sis 😍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Hey Victoria! Sis your comment made me smile❤️ Thank you for your kind words, it was the highlight of my day😍

      Like

    2. justnatonya says:

      O yeah Brock is bae❤️😍👌🏾

      Like

  19. I LOVE THIS POST, nice one sis! I pray that your wait is definitely worth it, and you do get that perfect guy!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. justnatonya says:

      Thanks Christy! I appreciate your support and positive energy sis ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No problem love!!! 💚💚

        Liked by 1 person

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